cropped love to infinityI was out to brunch with a friend the other day. We were talking about something I felt to be important. My friend had just shared and I was responding with my thoughts. In the middle of my sentence my friend said, “Oh my gosh, wait a minute. I just figured out what to do with blah, blah, blah,” a subject totally off topic.

Hurt and feelings of not being respected or cared for rushed over me. I emotionally withdrew immediately, as if I had touched a hot stove.

My friend quickly apologized profusely. It took me a minute or two, but I worked my way back to open hearted again. I was happy because this has been an “issue” for me in the past. Getting my feelings hurt after being interrupted and taking a while to recover have both been recurring themes. It’s all wrapped up in worthiness.

What happened differently this time is that I recently read about Byron Katie’s “The Work.” I asked myself if it was true that my friend interrupting me was a sign of her not caring, not respecting, and not loving me. No, I couldn’t say that any of that was true. The next internal question was, how do I feel and act when I believe it’s true. Well that was evident, and it felt like crap. How would I feel if I didn’t believe that junk? I’d just let it slide, comfortable in my worth and knowing that I’ve done the exact thing to others and it wasn’t necessarily because I didn’t care or wasn’t listening.

This all helped to shift perspective, but the clincher was that I then emotionally went to a place where I remembered how loved I am by the Universe. There is so much love out there for each of us, simply because we exist. I don’t need to get wrapped up in whether or not someone’s actions step on my toes and hurt my feelings. Now granted, this was a minor issue. It wasn’t like she beat me or something, but it was a baby step forward in feeling how beloved we all are and the Divine Nature that resides in us all. And for that, I am so grateful.

© Copyright 2014. Blessed Journey Blog. All Rights Reserved.

Be Careful Of What You Pray For

2014-04-25 12.59.24I was watching a program the other day and the woman being interviewed said all kinds of sage things, like

  • Others mirror our unconscious beliefs about ourselves
  • The way someone treats me is how he/she is feeling

But the point that struck me with the most power was when the woman said: when you pray for patience you get a line at the bank. In other words you are given the opportunity to practice what you are praying to learn. We have to put some skin in the game. We can’t just read about it or just pray this new skill falls in our lap. Oh, this is that messy stuff of relationship we’ve talked about!

So, if I’m praying for peace, I’ll get a good dose of chaos so I can practice being peaceful in the muck and mire. If I’m praying for joy, I’ll receive someone’s crummy attitude or infuriating behavior. And if I find myself there time and again, responding in the same way that isn’t working, it’s easy to blame the other person, but isn’t it my response too?! I’m half of this equation. And this situation is what I’ve asked for. This blessing is school to make my prayer come true.

So, my work is to come up with ways to respect myself and the other person in a peaceful way. How can I remember that this soul in front of me is tired and overworked and not just someone trying to yank my chain? The question of who’s “right” and “wrong” becomes irrelevant (and isn’t that an unhelpful question anyway?!).

So instead of my prayer being, “Please get me the heck out of here (or something worse)” it becomes, “Show me how to do this better.” And with that prayer, intention, openness, honesty, and perhaps some grace, we’ll learn this and move on to what’s next.

Blessings on your journey.

© Copyright 2014. Blessed Journey Blog. All Rights Reserved.