Interrupted

cropped love to infinityI was out to brunch with a friend the other day. We were talking about something I felt to be important. My friend had just shared and I was responding with my thoughts. In the middle of my sentence my friend said, “Oh my gosh, wait a minute. I just figured out what to do with blah, blah, blah,” a subject totally off topic.

Hurt and feelings of not being respected or cared for rushed over me. I emotionally withdrew immediately, as if I had touched a hot stove.

My friend quickly apologized profusely. It took me a minute or two, but I worked my way back to open hearted again. I was happy because this has been an “issue” for me in the past. Getting my feelings hurt after being interrupted and taking a while to recover have both been recurring themes. It’s all wrapped up in worthiness.

What happened differently this time is that I recently read about Byron Katie’s “The Work.” I asked myself if it was true that my friend interrupting me was a sign of her not caring, not respecting, and not loving me. No, I couldn’t say that any of that was true. The next internal question was, how do I feel and act when I believe it’s true. Well that was evident, and it felt like crap. How would I feel if I didn’t believe that junk? I’d just let it slide, comfortable in my worth and knowing that I’ve done the exact thing to others and it wasn’t necessarily because I didn’t care or wasn’t listening.

This all helped to shift perspective, but the clincher was that I then emotionally went to a place where I remembered how loved I am by the Universe. There is so much love out there for each of us, simply because we exist. I don’t need to get wrapped up in whether or not someone’s actions step on my toes and hurt my feelings. Now granted, this was a minor issue. It wasn’t like she beat me or something, but it was a baby step forward in feeling how beloved we all are and the Divine Nature that resides in us all. And for that, I am so grateful.

© Copyright 2014. Blessed Journey Blog. All Rights Reserved.

Path to Wholeness

2014-09-30 16.33.41I was out hiking a field trail the other day, through tall grasses and meadows, when the phrase “path to wholeness” struck me. Yes, I’m a firm believer in “Solvitur ambulando – It is solved by walking.”— often attributed to St. Augustine of Hippo. The idea of our lives being a path, a journey is not a new one, but here I was literally on a path seeking answers, looking for wholeness.

As often happens, as I walk I come up with a blog and I’ll speak parts of it into my phone so I can remember what I was thinking when I’m home and near my computer. You’ve probably had the same experience where you say something into the phone and it garbles it. But this time instead of translating what I’d said into “path to wholeness” it wrote “have to hold us.” I was struck by the beauty of this. What came to mind was Spirit holding me as I perambulated, processing my struggle.

The related phrase “to have and to hold” to me is not about subjugation, but to be responsible to and to care for. I love the idea of me being responsible to and caring for my spiritual well-being and Divine Wisdom doing the same for me.

The sense of being held and supported carried me on the rest of my hike and continues to the present moment.

I feel a great easing when I remember I’m not on my own, I’m not dangling out there alone on the edge, but Spirit is holding me all along the way on my path. And for that, I am so grateful.

 

© Copyright 2014. Blessed Journey Blog. All Rights Reserved.

The Blessings of a Sick Day

photo(5)I have been rushing around getting all kinds of things accomplished, which feels good, but also not always sleeping well, and, in hindsight, a bit frenetic. Granted, there has been a lot to do. I just moved, and that alone has a ton of details as well as big picture pieces to it.

In the middle of the night I realized my throat felt dry, but I didn’t want to drink too much water for fear of my bladder waking me later on. Unfortunately, when I woke up this morning I realized I definitely had a sore throat. Damn! I was supposed to go help a friend among other things today.

I thought, “Come on, am I really sick or just a little dehydrated?” Plainly hoping for the latter. Nope, the throat thing didn’t go away. I called my friend and then looked at my day and how I really felt. I took that pause that people are always talking about. Don’t act too fast, don’t jump from one thing to another. Just wait.

I had just been talking with my son about how I just didn’t have the motivation to finish painting the living room. This is weird for me. Usually if I start a project I am totally excited to see it to completion. I thought about this and a few other instances where I was running out of steam.

Here comes the aha moment: Maybe, since I’ve been going fast and furious for a couple of months now it’s time to take a breather. So, I treated the day like a silent retreat. It’s a rainy, cool day anyway, so it was a bit easier to climb back into bed. I did a long meditation, napped, and just really waited to get clear on what my body needed. I did a lot of listening to myself. The head didn’t just give orders on what to do next. I practiced mindfulness all day. Mindful breathing, eating, napping, listening. I’ve been able to just receive the gifts of this day.

Funny thing is I hadn’t noticed the effects of running ragged. I just kept focusing on what to do next. I’m thankful for the day as well as the awareness I was given to realize what that little dryness in my throat was telling me. Slow down, you are in overdrive.

Here’s hoping I’m on my feet soon, but I know when I get back to normal, I’ll be stronger than I’ve been in a while!

© Copyright 2014. Blessed Journey Blog. All Rights Reserved.

Sunrise And The Spiritual Reboot

2014-09-07 19.37.17It’s not that I like to get up early, rising from bed in the morning chill, but, I am always glad when I do. It’s so easy to connect to the Truth of it all when the day is new, the light is emerging, and there is still the dewy calm to the day.

I sit in the living room looking out on the woods. The house is dark except for what light peeks through the French doors, just reaching me. I love to watch the woods emerge with the sun. A reminder that here is a fresh chance, a new start to whatever is working on me. The sunrise is the global reboot.

This blog has had a hiatus. Life brought some pressing matters and writing the blog was pushed off the must-do-today list.

But this morning’s daybreak brings a blog. And, I am so happy to be back.

I don’t know if this is how it works for you, but often for me a movement grows when I need to make a change. I’ll hear one person mention writing, for instance, and somehow it catches my attention. But I don’t connect the dots that it’s a message for me. Then I’ll read something about writing. Then another person says something else about it. Finally, it gets through my denseness and I say, “Yes, I finally hear you. I’ll hop to it.”

I am so thankful that Spirit is so patient!

Especially if the change is a tall order and I don’t think I’ve got the energy to do it, I resist. I may know what needs to be done, but I’ll procrastinate.

At other times, I’m just not clear. I’ll meditate and pray on it repeatedly. I’ve come to realize that when I think I’m not getting the answer, it’s perhaps that I need to break out of my old thinking. I’m stuck in an old pattern. For instance someone last week suggested I get back to writing. I’ve been a journal writer for most of my life, but it hasn’t been speaking to me of late. I tried it again thinking maybe that was it, and…nothing. There’s nothing wrong with trying something that has worked in the past, and this trial and error worked. I knew I wasn’t being called to journal at this time.

But, with this morning’s meditation, blog came over me loud and clear. Or, maybe I just shifted enough to hear it. Equipped with new learnings from life’s ups and downs, I’m back.

There is another chance. It may look a little different, but I think as far as God is concerned, there is always another chance and the sunrise is a powerful reminder of this.

How does it work for you? Do you get thunderbolt or trickling realizations?

© Copyright 2014. Blessed Journey Blog. All Rights Reserved.