Happy Full

2014-12-05 16.18.03The first Saturday in December holds a favorite event for me and my family. It’s a winter festival full of community, yummy treats, books, and pretty things. It’s like old home week where you get to see so many current and old friends, catch up, do a little holiday shopping, support good causes. The extrovert in me loves it!

I volunteered this morning to help set up the Coffee House with one of my best friends. Spending time together was a gift. I could have stopped right there and it would have been enough. But, there was icing on this cake!

When we finished working we got to catch up with lots of other people dear to us plus do some shopping while supporting good works around the world: schools, clean water, literacy. Talk about warm fuzzies at every turn.

The day moved on and all of a sudden I realized I was no longer clear on where I was on my gift list. And, my list is not very long or complicated. As this happened I also realized my feet were starting to get tired from standing all day. Obviously I was done. I walked back upstairs toward the parking lot, sprinkling short goodbyes along the way until I made it back to the car. As I sat down on the couch back home and put my feet up I felt my back and feet relax.

I think I may have learned something over the years. At the first sign of “doneness” I let go of the joyful event and, satiated, gently went home. I had that sensation of happy fullness. I was not driven by, “I’ve got to get this done!” or any feelings of missing out on something. I just rested in the delicious aftertaste of a wonderful day, full of blessings and bounty. I had been fully present to the simple gifts of friendship, good music, teamwork, community, and an awesome cupcake. And, in gratitude, I put my feet up and was able to continue to relish the holiday season.

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Interrupted

cropped love to infinityI was out to brunch with a friend the other day. We were talking about something I felt to be important. My friend had just shared and I was responding with my thoughts. In the middle of my sentence my friend said, “Oh my gosh, wait a minute. I just figured out what to do with blah, blah, blah,” a subject totally off topic.

Hurt and feelings of not being respected or cared for rushed over me. I emotionally withdrew immediately, as if I had touched a hot stove.

My friend quickly apologized profusely. It took me a minute or two, but I worked my way back to open hearted again. I was happy because this has been an “issue” for me in the past. Getting my feelings hurt after being interrupted and taking a while to recover have both been recurring themes. It’s all wrapped up in worthiness.

What happened differently this time is that I recently read about Byron Katie’s “The Work.” I asked myself if it was true that my friend interrupting me was a sign of her not caring, not respecting, and not loving me. No, I couldn’t say that any of that was true. The next internal question was, how do I feel and act when I believe it’s true. Well that was evident, and it felt like crap. How would I feel if I didn’t believe that junk? I’d just let it slide, comfortable in my worth and knowing that I’ve done the exact thing to others and it wasn’t necessarily because I didn’t care or wasn’t listening.

This all helped to shift perspective, but the clincher was that I then emotionally went to a place where I remembered how loved I am by the Universe. There is so much love out there for each of us, simply because we exist. I don’t need to get wrapped up in whether or not someone’s actions step on my toes and hurt my feelings. Now granted, this was a minor issue. It wasn’t like she beat me or something, but it was a baby step forward in feeling how beloved we all are and the Divine Nature that resides in us all. And for that, I am so grateful.

© Copyright 2014. Blessed Journey Blog. All Rights Reserved.